In some ways, I’m embarrassed to be writing about this—having a child is not particularly unique. Do you know what percent of people on this planet will eventually have kids? 80%! Eighty freaking percent!
Still, from my corner of the universe, it feels big. Since I have committed to writing two articles per month, this is what I’m going to muse on for a bit.
Having a child is, from a sociological, biological, and psychological perspective, monumental. It sure feels that way, too. I want to list some of the ways my life has gotten better and gotten worse since having one, and then end with some predictions about #2.
Table of Contents
Life Gets Tougher
No one likes a gloater, so we’ll start with the hard stuff.
- Fewer stories: When people ask “what are you up to” or “done anything exciting lately?” I don’t have the showstopping stories of days of yore. (Remember to ask me about the time I got roofied in a Polish club and the FBI had to get involved.)
- Feeling like a worse friend: When I don’t respond to texts, or don’t go out of my way to meet someone for coffee, I can feel the weight of this. I have new priorities, and I can sleep soundly at night knowing this, but I am sure I’ve let friends down in this way. And I’m a bit embarrassed about it.
- Less travel: I don’t go to Japan as much as I need to. This applies to all travel.
Life Gets Better
And now for the fun part. The trade-offs are worth it.
- Daily laughter: My daughter is hilarious. We are crying-laughing probably three times per day on average. At a pool recently, she screamed to a stranger: “My man! Come swim with me!” He was stunned.
- Inside Jokes: Hazel recently nicknamed our dog “Leash Blanket,” and now that’s what we call him sometimes.
- Better focus and energy: I’m in better shape, making more money, and working harder. My good friend Thomas, who had kids early, told me once, “It kind of helps life make more sense.” I agree.
- Less worry about others’ opinions: On good days, I’m caring a bit less about what people think of me. I’ve always obsessed over this a bit too much, and I’m starting to let it go. Why? I think I’m just out of energy.
- Energy surprises: I actually find myself having more energy now than usual. This will probably take a step back until the next baby is sleeping through the night, but I’m confident people catastrophize the whole energy thing.
Baby #2
Baby #2 is coming via c-section this week. Big baby, upside down, so we don’t really have a choice. We’re going to find out the sex in the delivery room — a friend swore it’s one of life’s great surprises.
My hopes for this new little human: healthy, curious, and playful. Beyond that, we’ll see.
Conclusion
Having a child changes life in ways big and small. Some things get harder. Some things get a lot better. Laughter, love, and priorities take on new shapes.
Stay tuned—we’ll meet baby #2 soon. Will keep you posted!