Two weeks ago, I dropped off some hats at Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend podcast studio to invite Conan O’Brien to the DILFs of Larchmont Club.
Nothing happened. But here’s a picture of one of the hats.
Then yesterday, something strange and miraculous happened.
It involves Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend and the DILFs of Larchmont.
Here’s the full story.
Table of Contents
Big News
I woke up to a lot of texts from friends.
A lot of them were texts with a link to one of Conan O’Brien’s podcasts.
Here’s a text from my friend Joanna before I even woke up:
Podcast Feature
They did the whole opening segment on the DILFs of Larchmont.
Conan O’Brien: Hey, Conan O’Brien here. Welcome to Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend. Joined, as always, by Sona Movsesian. Hi, Sona.
Sona Movsesian: Hi.
Conan O’Brien: And of course, Matt Gourley.
Matt Gourley: Hi.
Conan O’Brien: Good to see you, Matt. Matt, you have some props. You’re a prop comic now?
Matt Gourley: No, this was handed to me by the lovely Ruthie, in the same way that a child is dropped off at a fire station’s doorstep.
Conan O’Brien: This or Moses. A young Moses arrives in a reeded basket.
Matt Gourley: Well, this was, I believe, the doorstep here. And it said: To Conan O’Brien and Matt Gourley.
Conan O’Brien: Huh, that’s nice.
Matt Gourley: Conan and Matt. Great news. By unanimous vote, the DILFs of Larchmont are proud to grant you honorary membership. We are a highly selective unit of local dads who live up to our slogan, “Protect and Provide.” As elite members, you now have the right and responsibility to wear the hat, lean into dad jokes, and grill things in a robe. We know you’ll make us proud with honor. Dan Lerman, Founder, DILFs of Larchmont.
An Idea
They eventually riffed on this.
And obviously, a joke turned into an idea.
Conan O’Brian: These aren’t prison pajamas.
Matt Gourley: Those are prison pajamas.
Conan O’Brian: These are not. This is a very nice, beautiful blue shirt type fight.
Bill Hader: DILF fight.
Sona Movsesian: DILF Fight.
Bill Hader: Yeah.
Conan O’Brian: DILF Fight. F*ck each other up. Hey, let’s make that movie DILF Fight.
Matt Gourley: Oh, yeah.
Bill Hader: Things get real.
Matt Gourley: Oh, my God, that’s good.
Conan O’Brian: DILF Fight. You know what I mean? It’s sort of like Fight Club, but it’s just two guys with, like, grilling spatulas.
Sona Movsesian: Grilling spatulas.
Matt Gourley: And, like, a TV remote.
Sona Movsesian: And a baby. And a baby. Whatever, Bjorn.
Conan O’Brian: Yeah, DILF fight.
Bill Hader: DILF Fight.
Matt Gourley: And instead of, like, at the vacant lot at midnight, it’s at the, like, Trader Joe’s at high noon or something like that.
Bill Hader: Yeah.
Conan O’Brian: And first they have to make sure they still got those cheddar chips, the peach ones? The peach flavored ones. Yeah, they still got them. All right, let’s do the fight. Let’s get the chips.
Matt Gourley: You still got that pumpkin cider? It comes out every September.
Bill Hader: Yeah.
Conan O’Brian: Okay.
Matt Gourley: All right, I’m ready.
Bill Hader: We’ll be in.
The Script
I spent all of yesterday writing the script. I also added splattered blood.
Afterward, I dropped it off at Team Coco’s podcast studio.
Here’s a little sneak peek of the script.
My real dream is that Conan reads the script and thinks, “These people are idiots.”
Listen Here
If you want to listen to the full episode click here to listen to it on Team Coco’s website.
Or click here to listen on Apple Podcast or Spotify.